Last weekend Brit and I did Pittsburgh as tourists do.We did the incline to see the full extent of the skyline, the Warhol museum, the strip district, Primanti brothers. The highlight of our weekend, however, was when we stumbled upon a new life philosophy while enjoying a local dive bar… this philosophy is known as Zucchini.

Zucchini was introduced to us by two drunk men who were singing outside the bar (winning, already), no matter the verse or the melody the chorus was always the same… a rowdy belting of Zucchini!

And that’s when it struck us, it meant anything you wanted it to mean! And as two young women irrevocably drawn to nonsense, we subscribed!

Here are some examples of completely zucchini situations…

We asked a man for a lighter to which he responded “Only if you’re not stupid about it.” This is zucchini in the sense of, what the fuck are you talking about? I mean, we’ve started our share of fires, but he had no way of knowing that.

Or the man who let us use his lighter without any verbal conditions, but turned out to have it adhered to a zipline attached to his belt, which forced us to stand rather close to him while using it. Zucchini: extremely odd.

Probably most zucchini of all is the fact that two reformed smokers decided to smoke during their vice weekend reunion and neither thought to bring a lighter.

Here are some visual representations…

Not to be confused with vain, or obnoxious. :)


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