Virgin Diaries

TLC has outdone themselves. I have counted on them for my freak side show, shock value, programming for some time now but Virgin Diaries has really hit the mark. I am stunned by what just unfolded last night. I can’t decide if the ginger with hipster glasses, the three lady roommates, or the wedding couple concerned me most.

Except, I can.

It’s the wedding couple.

They hadn’t even kissed before their wedding day and then their kiss was actually nauseating. It was like two fish desperately gulping  lips to sustain life. Also, they never seemed to get better with practice because the rest of the show they were featured exhibiting the same approach. Post wedding night they looked awkward and said “it’s not easy like in the movies”. Well part of your problem is probably which movies you’ve been watching, for one. Secondly, if you’ve never had any physical intimacy at all you’re not going to really excel at an intimacy marathon.

Which brings the ginger to mind, because he took up jogging to prep himself for the “cardiovascular exertion” of love making… only to turn down a bar fly who was literally ALL up on his junk because he felt he should be “picky”. Mmmm.

Equally baffling was one of the roommates who asked “What’s your timeline for marriage and children?” on a first date. She might as well have “Stage 5 Clinger” stamped on her forehead.

I really feel Sassy Gay Friend (youtube it, please) needs to address these situations in the fashion he does best, with a…

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LOOK AT YOUR LIFE! LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES!

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3 Comments

  1. I image the couple learned all they know from Disney movies. Can you image that poor bride? Stashing away copies of Cosmo from her parents, reading them by flash lights, saving herself for her big night? She spent months preparing for the perfect moment…and it was probably over in five minutes. So, so sad.

    As for the ginger…dude, you’re a ginger. Enough said, take anything thats willing to fire chef up that fire crotch.

  2. I was shocked when the “Ginger Hipster” didn’t take advantage of that opportunity. Seriously? I don’t care if it didn’t “feel right,” she was all over you even though she knew you are a virgin! How often does that happen?

    After watching this show, I do not feel one ounce of guilt for losing my V card as a teenager. Actually, I feel quite proud of myself.

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