I can handle it

Dear Diary,

Evelyn told Meowmy about the nip. She pulled me out of school in the middle of the day and sent me to detox without any of my belongings! I had to wear the supplied pajamas and socks with rubber on the bottom like all the court-ordered people. It was awful! I hate her! She doesn’t have to take away what dignity I have left just to prove her point! She could have EASILY packed a small duffle for me with some of my favorite things. A can of salmon would have really meant a lot!

Of course I was the only cat in the whole facility. Which was a huge benefit in that I didn’t have to go anywhere near that locker-room style corral to be hosed down and had my own litter box under the bed. I would have preferred my own room, but big surprise: Meowmy’s insurance blows.

Being the singular feline did make group sessions awkward, however. No one else had done nip. Sure, I could relate to their hang-ups with booze and opiates but no one really understood where I was coming from. Nip is so much more intense than that. It’s like a stimulant hallucinogen euphoria. Everything is interesting and colorful and fast and happy. It’s the best of meth, acid, and coke! Oh yeah, alcohol obviously ruins your life. Your liver is shutting down, you have seven DUIs, you piss the bed regularly. OBVIOUSLY you need to stop. What have I damaged? A sofa or two? Hogwarts has NO IDEA I’m using. Meowmy told them I would be gone for a week due to a family emergency. It’s going to be fine.

I don’t know. I’m not saying I’m going to go back to using every day, but maybe every now and then. I’m not like the others. I just needed some self control, I can handle it.

Merlin

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